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Issue #203

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funny cartoon of Judge Ito getting make up for his on-camera appearance

MISTAKES OFTEN MADE BY NEW JUDGES:

 
Forgetting to button the trap door in the back of the robe
 
Wagging a finger at the jury and telling them, "Judge not, that ye be not trying to do my job."
 
Instead of saying "the objection is overruled," saying "chill out, man."
 
  
  
   
 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE CM

Prudence Juris
— Hanging Limb, Tennessee
"The last time I had jury duty, the judge seemed a bit overanxious. He asked the defendant: How do you plead—'guilty' or 'really guilty'?"


The jury is still out on whether US energy policy is 'dumb' or 'really dumb,' but one thing is clear beyond a reasonable doubt: Our big

funny cartoon of mean-looking judge with huge gavel

new push towards biofuels will create more problems than it solves.
Get our quick take on why: Biomass and Sustainability

Or see   funny judge quotes  or  more funny cartoons

 
 

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FUNNY QUOTES RELATED TO  JUDGES
 

From Judge Dredd

judge dredd [approaching the MegaCity wall]

Ferguson: "C'mon, Dredd, there is no way in. Are you even listening to me? We can't just knock on the wall and say, 'Hello, Cursed Earth Pizza.' "

Judge Dredd: "There is a way in. Ten years ago, two refugees figured it out: Through the city's incinerator, there's a flame burst twice a minute, that means they have only 30 seconds to run through before it flames again."

Ferguson: "These refugees, they made it through, right?"

Judge Dredd: "Actually, they were roasted. But, the theory's sound. Shall we?"

From My Cousin Vinny

frame from My Cousin Vinny Vinny: "Your honor, may I have permission to treat Ms. Vito as a hostile witness?"

Mona Lisa Vito: "You think I'm hostile now, wait 'til you see me tonight."

Judge Haller: "Do you two know each other?"

Vinny: "Yeah, she's my fiancée."

Judge Haller: "Well, that would certainly explain the hostility."

Jim Carrey in Liar Liar From Liar Liar

Judge Stevens: "Mr. Reede, one more word out of you, and I will hold you in contempt!"

Fletcher: "I hold myself in contempt! Why should you be any different?"

 
 

See more Funny Judge Quotes ...

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FREE NEWS SERVICE

Blutarsky from Animal House yelling food fight; text says Food Fight - industrial food, nutrition researchers, and the media... vs. you, THIS WEEK ON GP'S FREE MP3 NEWS SERVICE
 
ARTICLES / GREEN STUFF

BIOMASS ONLY LOOKS GREAT IN A FUN-HOUSE MIRROR

The US and European push towards significantly greater use of biofuels is already having unintended consequences such as increased food prices (because biofuel plants are competing for limited grain supplies) and increased clearing of rainforests (so more palm oil plantations can be planted). Are solutions such as cellulosic ethanol for cars and burning biomass for electricity real? Or might they create more problems than they solve? Get our take in Grinning Planet's feature article, Biomass and Sustainability.

QUOTH THE MAVEN

Alice Friedemann:  "When plants die, they're recycled into basic elements [by the biota in the soil] and become a part of new plants. It's a closed cycle. There is no bio-waste."

YOUR ORGANIC MILK – MOOEY BUENO?

Organic milk grew from a niche field to a big business, so it's no surprise that Big Business wanted to get in on it. And it's no surprise they found those pesky organic standards to be a hindrance to maximizing profits. At every turn, agribusiness players have worked to shirk the standards and change them to their advantage. You can make sure you're not supporting such shady players by checking out your favorite organic milk brand(s) on the Cornucopia Institute's rating scorecard. (If Horizon is your brand, you will not be happy!)

TUNE IN ... STEVE FORBERT —
“GOOD PLANETS ARE HARD TO FIND”

Some great lyrics appreciating the little blue and green jewel we live on, sung in a melodic (if gravelly) manner over a soft rock 'n' roll backing.
Good planets are hard to find;
Temperate zones and tropic
    climes;
True currents in thriving seas;
Winds blowin' through breathing
    trees;
Strong ozone and safe sunshine;
Good planets are hard to find...


Amazon options:
-- Hear clip or download MP3
-- Check out CD

FOOD FIGHT - INDUSTRIAL FOOD, NUTRITION RESEARCHERS, AND THE MEDIA... VS. YOU

Grinning Planet's most recent free downloadable news clips, including:
On the Media: Industrial food and low-grade media have left us poorly fed and misinformed .... GoldRadio.fm: Mish Shedlock on the feds, the Fed, and we the fed-up .... Democracy Now: The last time Congress spooked the spooks .... C-Realm Podcast: Joe Bageant and the "Stockholm syndrome of the soul" .... Journeys With Rebecca: TimeBots/Clif High interview, predictions .... Plus headlines and other stories; see all / download...

MORE ...

 - Green Stuff (more like above)
 - Quotes
 - Environmental Songs

 

 

 
SERIOUS AND (CLEAN) FUNNY
MULTIMEDIA - ANIMATIONS, VIDEO, AUDIO, MORE ...
 
JUST PLAIN FUNNY
 
funny audio about judges link; thumb of judge
HERE COME DA JUDGE
Two funny audio clips from The Onion:
(1) Judge Orders God To Break Up Into Smaller Deities
(2) US Trades Alito To British Supreme Court In Six-Judge Deal

Objection overruled!

Hear here: funny audio about judges.

 
ENERGY FUNNY
 
funny energy video link; thumb of John Oliver with mic
JOHN OLIVER ON ALTERNATIVE ENERGY
A funny 2-minute bit of standup from John Oliver on energy. (PG warning: This bit has a razor edge, and there are a couple of expletives un-deleted, but it's funny enough to feature it....)

Watch funny energy video.
 
ECO SERIOUS
 
orangutan relaxing amongst lush rainforest vegetation; click to go to video page at external site; opens in new window
HOW WE RE-GREW A RAINFOREST
By piecing together a complex ecological and societal puzzle, biologist Willie Smits has found a way to re-grow clearcut rainforest in Borneo, restoring the lush vegetation, saving orangutans, and providing a sustainable local economy. This is brilliant work. From TED Talks. Go there

Related GP articles:
Rainforest Destruction
Smart Wood and Paper

 
 
 
JUST PLAIN FUNNY #2
 
funny judges video link; thumb of Eric Idle and Michael Palin as poofy judges
MONTY PYTHON – POOFY JUDGES
A short, funny Monty Python bit with two over-the-top-effeminate judges.

Watch funny judges video.
 
ENERGY MUSIC VIDEO
 
energy music video link; thumb of hydroelectric dam
SCHOOL HOUSE ROCK - “ENERGY”
A fun (if quaint) music video from School House Rock on sources of energy—and the need to conserve the limited energy that's available to us. Watch energy music video.
 
RECOMMENDED MOVIE
 
image for Sprawling from Grace, Driven To Madness; click to go to movie review page on Grinning Planet
SPRAWLING FROM GRACE, DRIVEN TO MADNESS
Sprawling from Grace argues that it no longer matters whether our first choice is a transition back to walkable communities, expanded mass transit in cities, and rail-based transportation networks. Without cheap, abundant oil, it's our only choice. The film's focus on workable solutions saves Sprawling from Grace from being "just another peak oil movie."  Read full review of Sprawling from Grace, Driven To Madness

 
 
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