MANAGEMENT INNOVATIONS AT TOP DOG FOOD COMPANIES:

It's perfectly acceptable that employees go through other employees' trash cans.

Petting of subordinates is permitted.

All accounting figures are adjusted by a factor of 7.

Employees must wash hands before leaving the backyard and returning to their desk.

Fifi Caniche
Vice President for Barking, Butt Sniffing, and Employee Welfare

"My company is great. At all company meetings they provide free coffee, doughnuts and meat byproducts."

Which labels tell you that your package of beef is free of meat byproducts—and Mad Cow Disease?
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