RECOMMENDATIONS FOR DINING OUT WITH YOUNG CHILDREN:

DO: Ignore impertinent questions like: "Why can't we get this kind of service at home?"

DON’T: Try to dissuade your kids from launching peas on a spoon by loading up your own spoon and giving them your best military stare.

DO: Keep them from getting on your nerves by telling them, "Turn around and annoy the people at the next table for a while."

Rico "The Wallet" Moolanetti
    — Payette, Idaho
"Whether it's troublesome witnesses or difficult children, nothing quiets things down like a little hush money."

We refuse to quiet down about the farm-raised salmon on the menu.
Waiter, bring the next page

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