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COMPLAINTS OF PEOPLE WHO WORK IN GARDEN CENTERS: |
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To ensure a proper tax write-off, the owner always gets the peat-filled donuts.
Creepy undercover DEA agents are always hanging around the potted plants.
Nobody ever seems to get fired—they just get sent to put Miracle-Gro on the prize-winning Venus Fly Traps.
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Pete Moss
— Sphagnum Creek, Minnesota
"My biggest complaint from my garden center days: Every year the owner presented each employee with the same 'Christmas treasure' holiday bonus—a 3-cu.ft. bag of silver dollar mulch."
We're not keen on reusing empty mulch bags in our kitchen trash can, but we do have a suggestion regarding plastic grocery bags.
Bag up the next page
Or go to list of jokes
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SONGS FOR A GARDENING UNIVERSE |
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“The Word/Om” – The Moody Blues, In Search of the Lost Chord |
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This garden universe vibrates complete...
Between the eyes and ears there lie
The sounds of color and the light of a sigh.
And to hear the sun, what a thing to believe,
But it's all around if we could but perceive.
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REVIEW: Can these lyrics be referring to the effect your new backyard garden may have on you? Well, that's up to you and your garden tools. In the meantime, consider the album these lyrics come from: "In Search of the Lost Chord." It's about seeking things both physical and metaphysical, outside ourselves and within ourselves. It's at once cosmic and earthbound. So slip behind the wheel of your existence, fasten your headphones, and let the search begin...
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