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“MONOPOLY” BOARD GAME — UPDATED PLAYING PIECES: |
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Little Dog |
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Pit Bull |
Shoe |
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Untied, Half-Open Sneaker |
Flat Iron |
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Dry Cleaner's Bill |
Race Car |
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Oversized SUV |
Thimble |
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Foreign Seamstress |
Top Hat |
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Hair Plug |
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Marvin Gardener
— Park Place, Pennsylvania
"I heard that in the new version of Monopoly, the Go to Jail card says Go to jail, but pass Go and collect $200 if your lawyer is good enough. And the Free Parking space now says Free Parking? Yeah, right—that'll be twelve bucks. "
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Pesticide companies do not have a monopoly on pest control. Nature also has an arsenal of pest-control tricks for gardeners, and they are there for the asking.
Opportunity knocks on the next page
Or go to list of jokes
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“Man on the Moon” – R.E.M., from the album Automatic For The People |
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Monopoly, twenty-one, checkers, and chess... (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Mister Fred Blassie in a breakfast mess... (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Let's play Twister, let's play Risk... (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
See you in heaven, if you make the list... (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Hey, Andy, did you hear about this one?
Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Andy, are you goofing on Elvis?
“Hey, baby”... Are we losing touch?
If you believe they put a man on the moon... (man on the moon)
If you believe there's nothing up my sleeve, then nothing is cool...
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Album Review: By the time Automatic for the People was released in 1992, REM's two previous albums— Green and Out of Time—had each done their part to solidify the group not only as kings of the alt-rock world, but also as a slightly moody, sometimes activist band that was perfectly capable of producing numerous great hit songs. With Automatic for the People, REM had themselves a hat trick—three albums in a row of stellar material. This period was the perfect nexus of REM's ever-more-confident songwriting and increasing
mastery of instrumentation, with an overall inventiveness that resulted in song after song of excellent music. Here are a few of the standouts from Automatic for the People: "Try Not to Breathe" finds front-man Michael Stipe's voice at its most plaintive and the songwriting in fine, melodic pique. The gritty grind of "Drive" is balanced by the song's use of soft minor-key strings in the background. On "The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight," R.E.M. caroms off the old hit "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" to come up with a fresh, upbeat
alt-pop hit. "Everybody Hurts," another hit from Automatic for the People, is one of those songs that lyrically presents an axiom that every person on the planet can relate to: "everybody hurts... sometimes." The song benefits from a delicate arrangement that includes light guitar, strings, and a slow pace. "Nightswimming" and "Find the River" have a similarly low-key sound but deliver themselves with more lilt than wilt, and the hypnotic "Star Me Kitten" takes the low-key sounds into the mesmerizing end of the
pool. The stratospheric hit from the album was, of course, "Man on the Moon," a catchy tribute to comic Andy Kauffman and to visions of what it was like to grow up a couple of decades ago. It's got a hook that's almost impossible to not sing along with. As an album, Automatic for the People provides a variety of themes and tones, from angry to mellow, from rocked-out to laid-back. In all cases, it's top material from a band in top form.
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