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Gambling Cartoon/Joke

Hey, gamblers -- we're betting you'll find the double-down gambling-cartoon action here to be a winner. Best of all, it's all free -- no juice! And that's no gambling joke!

         
 

SIGNS YOU HAVE
GAMBLING FEVER

 
 
You help your four-year-old learn math by teaching her to count cards
 
When your addiction counselor says he thinks "the odds are good" that you will beat your gambling problem, you see it as a reason to immediately call your bookie
 
You lose your wife in a poker game; you lose your mistress going double-or-nothing; and now they refuse to let you bet your hooker
 
 
  funny cartoon of woman playing bingo; she is surrounded by good luck charms like a 4 leaf clover hat, horseshoe, troll doll, and rabbit with painted feet    
 
 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE CM

Chuck Aluck — Pottsville, KY
"Yeah, maybe I have a gambling problem. I've consistently lost at betting on horse racing, dog racing, and cock fighting, but I keep going. And yesterday I found myself begging my little niece to give me a chance to win back the money I lost to her at Go Fish."


Are we gambling away the world's last ancient forests for the sake of disposable paper?   Find out how the poker-playing tree-hugger blew it all on a flush on the next page

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funny cartoon of mobster holding man upside down by his beet, shaking money out of his pockets
 
 
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SONGS FOR A GAMBLING-ADDICTED PLANET
 
  “Go Down Gamblin'”
      – Blood Sweat & Tears, from Greatest Hits (Extra Tracks)
 
 

Born a natural loser, can't recall just where;
Raised on brew and poker and a dollar here and there;
Blackjack hand, dealer man, you'd better pay off that last bet;
Two-bit hand, a 21 is all I ever get . . .
Go down gambling, say it when you're running low . . .
Go down gambling, you may never have to go . . .

 

album cover for Greatest Hits (Extra Tracks), by Blood Sweat & Tears Album Review: Blood Sweat & Tears was one of the most adventurous bands of the post-hippie era, combining a love of jazz with strong rock and pop sensibilities. Much of the work on their original studio albums was experimental, often incorporating passages of free-form jazz. To be honest, this was not always an advantage. But you don't have to worry about getting lost in any haze-filled riff-fests with this CD, a set of Blood Sweat & Tears' greatest hits, packed with song after song of their radio hits—i.e. the one's you know when you hear them. Three of their best songs made it to #2 on the Billboard Top 40 chart—their superb ballad "You've Made Me So Very Happy"; the quirky but excellent "And When I Die"; and "Spinning Wheel (What Goes Up Must Come Down)," which also made it to #1 on Billboard's Adult Contemporary chart. Three other winners from this greatest-hits album made the Top 40—the laid-back "Hi-De-Ho," the energetic "Lucretia MacEvil" and the ferociously good "Go Down Gamblin'." There are number of other songs on this CD that were also radio hits, and most of the songs are among Blood, Sweat & Tears best efforts. David Clayton-Thomas, who did the lead singing on all of the songs mentioned so far, also mics up for lead duty on "God Bless the Child" and "Lisa, Listen to Me." But three more excellent songs feature other members of the band singing lead: "I Can't Quit Her," a wrenchingly heartfelt ode to love addiction; "Sometimes in Winter," a very smooth but bitter-sweet ballad; and "I Love You More Than You'll Ever Know," another relationship dirge. These three songs provide a sort of hattrick of "tortured love" songs, but the smoother singing juxtaposed with BS&T's normal grittiness makes them work quite nicely. Also included on the CD are "More and More," the B-side to the "Spinning Wheel" single, and "So Long Dixie," a late-period single. What's nice about all of the songs on Blood Sweat & Tears' Greatest Hits is they take BS&T's musical inventiveness, squeeze out the excesses, add in non-standard rock instruments like horns and sax, and combine it all with tight songwriting to give us solid, unique pop-rock songs. Very cool!

 

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Gambling-Cartoon-Related
FUNNY QUOTES

"No wife can endure a gambling husband—unless he is a steady winner."

    – Thomas Robert Dewar

"A Gentleman is a man who will pay his gambling debts even when he knows he has been cheated."

    – Leo Tolstoy

"If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough."

    – V.P. Pappy

For more funny quotes, see our topic list of funny quotes

 

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Casino  (DVD)

       
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