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Funny Environmental News
Some fake funny environmental news. Only the network news anchors are a bigger joke!
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ZOMBIE
NEWS CLIPS FROM THE TOMB OF THE UNREAL . . .
VOL. 7 — FUNNY ENVIRONMENTAL NEWS |
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| Ben & Jerry’s, the innovative and environmentally conscious ice cream company, solves part of its waste treatment problem by feeding ice-cream slop to 300 pigs. The program runs smoothly until the pigs announce that they will strike unless the company agrees to increase the flow of hot fudge effluent. |
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| The Environmental Protection Agency announces it will allow farmers to begin using a new herbicide even though the chemical is known to cause cancer. An EPA spokesman downplays environ- mentalists’ objections, noting that the new herbicide poses less risk to the public than the alternative: "Some of these farm weeds can really wreak havoc. If they were ever to get past the barbed wire and make it to the city.... Well, it would be ugly." |
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| Environmentally minded marine experts warn that the world’s ocean fisheries are being overharvested, with some areas in danger of permanent collapse. A fishing industry spokesperson counters that the issue is overblown, saying that by the time the oceans are fished dry, food scientists will have developed a perfectly satisfactory plankton burger. |
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Rush Limbaugh — eco mad man
"The fuzzy-headed environmentalists tell us we should slit the plastic rings that hold together 6-packs of cans so the rings won't entrap fish. I say these fish have no right to swim in our landfills."
We have no way of knowing whether Rush Limbaugh spends his Earth Day cleaning up streams or excreting elicit drugs into them. But if you'd like to do something positive for Mother Nature, here's a list of
Earth Day Activities ...
Or go to list of jokes
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ADVERTISEMENT
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Oh, mercy, mercy me...
Oh, things ain't what they used to be:
Where did all the blue sky go?
Poison is the wind that blows;
Oil wasted on the oceans and upon our seas;
Fish full of mercury—
Oh, mercy, mercy me...
from "Mercy Mercy Me" by Marvin Gaye
. . . from the album What's Going On
For reviews/clips, check out CD on Amazon.com
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I am your mother—born of the sun;
I gave you shelter—what have you done?
Your heart's in turmoil—my world's in pain;
I need to turn you back home again . . .
I need you to protect me . . .
from "Gaia" by Olivia Newton John
. . . from the album Gaia – One Woman's Journey
For reviews/clips, check out CD on Amazon.com
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Every thread of creation is held in position
By still other strands of things living,
In an earthly tapestry hung from the skyline
Of smoldering cities . . .
from "Tapestry" by Don McLean
. . . from the album Tapestry
For reviews/clips, check out CD on Amazon.com
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"I am at two with Nature."
– Woody Allen
View on Amazon.com:
Woody Allen books
Related item:
Woody Allen movies
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