[waits on a customer]
Roseanne: "Can I help you?"
Customer: "Uh, yeah. Which is better, the tuna salad or the egg salad?"
Roseanne: "Tuna salad... egg salad... chicken salad... turkey salad... shrimp salad. What difference does it make? It's all just different words for mayonnaise. Pick one."
From 30 Rock
Tracy Jordan: "You don't have to thank me, Liz Lemon. We're a team now. Like Batman and Robin. Like chicken, and a chicken container."
Cliff: "Well, you know, millions believe in reincarnation."
Coach: "You mean, like when you come back as a chicken?"
Cliff: "Well, not necessarily as a chicken, Coach. The Hindus believe that what you come back as depends on your behavior in this life. You know, if you led a good life, you come back in an elevated state."
Coach: "Like Colorado!"
From Lost in Space
Robot: "Will Robinson! I will tell you a joke! Why did the robot cross the road? Because he was carbon-bonded to the chicken!"