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From Desperate Housewives
Carlos: "That was our lawyer. Libby rejected us as parents."
Gabrielle: "Why? What? That's discrimination. It's illegal. We could have her arrested."
Carlos: "It's her baby. She can do whatever the hell she wants to with it. Damn it."
Gabrielle: "No! No, you don't just toss people aside because of the color of their skin."
Carlos: "We tossed those birth mothers aside because of their appearance."
Gabrielle: "Well, that's different."
Carlos: "Why?"
Gabrielle: "Because I've read the constitution and it does not protect ugly people."
From Futurama
Leela: "Cool your jowls, Nixon. You may not like it that Dr. Zoidberg desecrated a flag. You might even find the image of it festering in his bowels somehow offensive. But the right to freedom of expression is guaranteed by the Earth Constitution!"
Nixon's head: "Is that so? Well, I happen to know a place where the Constitution doesn't mean squat!"
[Scene changes to the US Supreme Court]
From The Simpsons
Kid: "Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?"
The Amendment: "I'm not garbage."
The Amendment [singing]: "I'm an amendment to be, yes an amendment to be, and I'm hoping that they'll ratify me. There's a lot of flag burners who have got too much freedom. I wanna make it legal for policeman to beat 'em, cause there's limits to our liberty, least I hope and prey that there are, 'cause those liberal freaks go too far!"
Kid: "Why can't we just make a law against flag burning?"
The Amendment: "Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we change the constitution..."
Kid: "Then we can make all sorts of crazy laws!"
The Amendment: "Now you're catching on! "
From The Simpsons
Smithers: "Look at all the wonderful things you have, Mr. Burns: King Arthur's Excalibur, the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, and that rare first draft of the constitution with the word 'suckers' in it."
From The Simpsons
Lisa: "Ralph can't be president. He's the dumbest person on the dumbest percentile group."
Homer: "A president doesn't have to be smart. All he has to do is point the army and shoot."
Lisa: "But he's eight, and the constitution says you have to be 35 to be president."
Bart: "Lis, I'm pretty sure the Patriot Act killed the constitution to protect our rights."
From Monk
Sharona: "If you know who did it, why didn't you go to the police?"
Monk: "Because she was afraid. You're not a citizen yet, but you're about to take your naturalization test, and you didn't want to draw attention to herself."
Ariana Dakkar: "How did you know that?"
Monk: "The pamphlet in your bag. You're studying the US Constitution, something no citizen would ever do."
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