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FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES, HUMOROUS QUOTATIONS ABOUT SCHOOL TEACHERS, QUOTE

FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES

 
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Funny Teacher Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler—and less trouble."

Mark Twain

"I never did very well in math—I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally."

Calvin Trillin

"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."

Woody Allen

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

Louis-Hector Berlioz

"If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure."

Bill Gates

"Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years."

Gracie Allen

"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."

Jay Mohr

"As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools."

Unknown


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Funny School Teacher Quotes . . .
FUNNY AND SAD

"We need excellence in public education and if the teachers can't do it, we'll send in a couple of policemen."

Frank Rizzo

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

Dan Quayle


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Funny Quotes about School Teachers . . .
STRANGELY FUNNY

"The teacher should make a concerted effort never to lose his temper in the presence of the class. If a man, he may take refuge in profane soliloquies. If a woman, she may follow the example of one sweet-faced tranquil girl who went out in the yard and gnawed a post."

William Lyon Phelps

"I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs."

Don Herold

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

Flannery O'Connor

"If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do [things], then YOU DESERVE IT."

Frank Zappa

"One can always tell it's summer when one sees school teachers hanging about the streets idly, looking like cannibals during a shortage of missionaries."

Robertson Davies

 

Funny Quotes about Teachers . . .
SORT OF ABOUT TEACHERS

"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."

Henry Youngman

"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills."

Minna Thomas Antrim

"The 2 rules of Judo training: 1) the teacher is always right and 2) when you think the teacher is wrong, refer to rule one."

Unknown

Funny Teacher Quotes
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If you know of a funny teacher quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

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AUDIO CLIPS
TEACHING TRUTH

CATEGORY:  HISTORY, FINANCIAL — 14.FEB.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Peak Prosperity

Either We Break the Bankster Alliances or They Will Break Us — Nomi Prins reviews the historical circumstances that led to the formation of the big-bank-controlled Federal Reserve; that is, how the financial foxes were put in charge of the public's hen house. She then explains how many rich US elites in the late 1800s/early 1900s thought that keeping money flowing and not being too draconian helped the masses, which in turn helped the elites maintain the system that provided the wealth. But some bankers were not of a mind to play the game this way, and Louis Brandeis warned: "We must break the Money Trust or the Money Trust will break us." Nomi Prins says we are headed into a new era of high banker mischief, vast income gaps, and reckless behavior among leaders and elites. She says we must take heed of Brandeis' warning and take down the banker-corporate-politician-industrial complex.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   52:45

GP comment:  I have passed on a couple of Prins interviews earlier this year, but here she is starting to step outside the envelope and address the bankster power structure as the criminal enterprise that it truly is.

Original Show Pub Date: 31.Jan.2015

CATEGORY:  COOL AND COSMIC — 06.FEB.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Awakening as One

Armageddon — The War Within — As framed here, Armageddon is not really about a final battle of the world's great armies, it is a process of resolving the internal conflicts in us humans. Though the system run by The Powers That Be is palpably corrupt, we have become so dependent on it, we cannot voluntarily let it go. Simultaneously, most people have lost their way, prioritizing materialism and self-obsessed goals over a peaceful, loving existence. The Armageddon process will break the system, and therefore begin the liberation process. While our time-limited physical form may perish, the inner heart-based eternal self will be renewed.
Watch  |  Download/listen   58:46

GP comment:  This is an interesting merge of Christian end-times philosophy with new-agey consciousness and cosmic awareness. There are a few points where the visuals help put the audio in context, but for the most part, you can get by just listening to the MP3, if that is your wont.

Original Show Pub Date: Unknown

CATEGORY:  ENERGY, PEAK OIL — 05.FEB.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Sea Change Radio

The Latest Oil Glut—Once Bitten, Twice Shy — It comes as little surprise that the author of a book entitled Snake Oil: How Fracking's False Promise of Plenty Imperils Our Future is a critic of the natural gas industry and a proponent of peak oil theory. Host Alex Wise reviews the issues with Richard Heinberg of the Post Carbon Institute and gets his perspective on how plunging oil prices will affect the energy and transportation industries; the status of the North American natural gas boom; how the turbulence may alter consumer behavior in the near term; and the need for sound policy to guide us through the long-term challenge of living in a post-carbon world.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   30:00

GP comment:  Heinberg is solid as usual, though if you have heard his other interviews in the last six months, you will not find much new here.

Original Show Pub Date: 27.Jan.2015

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