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FUNNY PLASTIC SURGERY QUOTES

Give your sagging brain a humor lift with these funny plastic surgery quotes - cosmetic surgery, funny style!

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Funny Plastic Surgery Quotes ...
GENERAL

"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

Rita Rudner

"Beauty lasts five minutes. Maybe longer if you have a good plastic surgeon."

Tia Carrere

"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."

Groucho Marx

"Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery."

Joan Rivers

"Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills."

Dolly Parton

"One popular new plastic surgery technique is called lip grafting, or 'fat recycling,' wherein fat cells are removed from one part of your body that is too large, such as your buttocks, and injected into your lips. People will then be literally kissing ass."

Dave Barry


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Funny Plastic Surgery Quotes ...
CUT-DOWNS

"You know, let's put it this way, if all the people in Hollywood who have had plastic surgery, if they went on vacation, there wouldn't be a person left in town."

Michael Jackson

"A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy."

Joan Rivers

"If you choose to be Frankenstein with Botox and plastic surgery, you've bought your own private mask."

Frances Conroy


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Funny Plastic Surgery Quotes from ...
TELEVISION

thumb of martin crane From Frasier

Martin Crane: "Oh great, my kids are having plastic surgery. That's a nice age to get to."

thumb of Moe From The Simpsons

Moe: "Plastic surgery, huh? Eh, maybe they could dynamite Mount Crapmore here and carve me a new kisser."

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thumb of bioplastic fork, spoon, knife THE PLACE SETTING IN BARBIE’S PLAYHOUSE JUST GOT BIOPLASTIC SURGERY
Even plastic is getting plastic surgery these days. Find out about it in our article on the Advantages and Disadvantages of Bioplastics (Biodegradable Plastic).



Funny Plastic Surgery Quotes
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FUNNY PLASTIC SURGERY QUOTE

If you know of a funny plastic surgery quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

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AUDIO CLIPS
FIX THE FLAWS IN YOUR NEWS

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 28.JAN.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Life Matters

Anit-Inflammatory Properties of Glycine — Because most of us don't cook bones and cartilage into soup as previous generations did, we're missing essential nutrients, glycine among them. Dr. Joel Brind talks explains why the amino acid glycine is essential to regulating your body's inflammation. He recommends glycine supplementation, and talks about a study that suggests this can also be helpful for those facing type II diabetes.
Watch  |  Download/listen   23:33

GP comment:  Pretty interesting. I've had some success with one specific form of magnesium that include glycine. Now I know why.

Original Show Pub Date: 14.Apr.2014

CATEGORY:  FOOD, HEALTH — 24.JAN.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Susun Weed

Coffee—A Surprisingly Healthy Brew — Herbalist and alternative health guru Susun Weed talks about the many benefits of coffee. There are a few potential downsides, she says, but for most people, the data overwhelmingly show that coffee and caffeine help reduce risk in just about every major disease category.
Go to page A  |  Download/listen A   31:41
Go to page B  |  Download/listen B   33:58

GP comment:  I was actually surprised there weren't more cautions against coffee consumption here. But I love coffee, so YEAY! I do have to wonder, though, how much of the protective effect is merely counterbalancing other bad habits. Nonetheless, since we are indeed creatures of (bad) habit, carry on with the slurping! Weed does add that while the coffee itself is good, the other things some of us put in it are ... not so much.

Original Show Pub Date: Aug.2013

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 21.JAN.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good One Radio Network

The Skinny Gut Diet — When it comes to digestive disorders, Brenda Watson has dedicated her career to helping people achieve lasting health through improved digestive function. Topics here include ... doing alimentary detective work; true fermented vegetables vs. canned; solutions for constipation; how gut bacteria can drive weight issues; the importance of gut microbe variety; probiotic recommendations and the "with food" vs. "away from food" question.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   1:01:58

GP comment:  She's good, but for me, too much time was spent on "fat bacteria." I'm an ectomoprh!

Original Show Pub Date: 13.Jan.2015

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GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Plastic Surgery

 
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ANIMATIONS RELATED TO
Funny Plastic Surgery Quotes

funny video plastic surgery link; thumb of the four Kiss members in makeup

GENE SIMMONS’ KISS-METIC SURGERY CENTER

Kiss star Gene Simmons is opening a plastic surgery center? Egad! Fairly funny ... and surprisingly clean!  Watch funny plastic surgery video.

plastic surgery - funny animation link; thumb of michael jackson with webbed hand

MICHAEL JACKSON – PLASTIC SURGERY PROFILE

A funny animated clip that shows Michael Jackson's plastic surgery choices went way, way beyond anything we ever imagined.  Watch funny plastic surgery animation.

Or see more ...
Funny Animations/Videos

       
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