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FUNNY SUMMER QUOTES

I sweated buckets as I collected these funny summer quotes. I LAUGH at the summer heat—quotes are so cool!

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Funny Summer Quotes ...
GENERAL

"A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp."

Raymond Duncan

"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."

Erma Bombeck

"Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability."

Sam Keen

"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."

James Dent

"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."

attributed to Mark Twain

"Summer is a promissory note signed in June, its long days spent and gone before you know it, and due to be repaid next January."

Hal Borland


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Funny Quotes about the
SUMMER HEAT

"It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do."

Walter Winchell

"Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it."

Russell Baker

"It ain't the heat, it's the humility."

Yogi Berra

"'Heat, ma'am!' I said; 'it was so dreadful here, that I found there was nothing left for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.'"

Sydney Smith, Lady Holland's Memoir

 
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Funny Summer Quotes ...
FROM MOVIES AND TV

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From The Simpsons

Store Manager: "Okay, people, we need to cook up a new holiday for the summer. Something with gifts, cards, assorted gougeables."

Jack Donaghy From 30 Rock

Jack Donaghy: "I've had the most productive summer of my life.... All of my summer replacement shows were big hits. America's Next Top Pirate... Are You Stronger Than a Dog... MILF Island...."

From Seinfeld

George Costanza: "But I really want to leave my mark this time. Like remember that summer at Dairy Queen when I cooled my feet in the soft serve?"

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Funny Summer Quotes ...
FROM LEFT FIELD

"If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?"

Steven Wright

"This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air."

Bill Maher

"In winter I get up at night
And dress by yellow candle-light.
In summer quite the other way
I have to go to bed by day."

Robert Louis Stevenson

"It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out."

Calvin (Bill Watterson)



 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

 

thumb of trellis board, stake, and strings WHO KNOWS WHAT SUMMER SAVINGS LURK IN THE HEARTS OF SHADOWS?
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Funny Summer Quotes
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FUNNY SUMMER QUOTE

If you know of a funny summer quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

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AUDIO CLIPS
FOR THE WARMING PLANET

CATEGORY:  ENVIRONMENT (CLIMATE) — 05.FEB.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Biodiversity for a Livable Climate / Radio EcoShock

The Planetary Peril in the IPCC's Lowest-Common-Denominator Science — Thomas Goreau's doctorate is in biogeochemistry. He's an expert in areas such as coral reef science and global climate change. Two of the main points Goreau makes are that the IPCC's window of focus is much too narrow—most of the worst climate effects will be beyond its 100-year window—and its conclusions are so "lowest common denominator" that they are greatly underestimating both the data trends and coming impacts. He also says that the "350" goal is far too high—if we accept even that currently politically unattainable goal, we are doomed to a temperature increase of 17-20 degrees C. Goreau says atmospheric CO2 levels need to be rolled back to 260 ppm. He says the essential solution—mostly ignored by global leaders—is to put carbon back in the soil using practices such as biochar.
Watch  |  Download/listen   24:07

GP comment:  Watch if you can—lots of good graphs. Tip o' the hat to Radio EcoShock for pointing out the Biodiversity for a Livable Climate conference videos.

Original Show Pub Date: Nov.2014 ~~ Original title: Thomas Goreau - The Down-to-Earth Solution to Global Warming: How Soil Carbon Sequestration Works

CATEGORY:  ENVIRONMENT — 18.JAN.2015

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen Living on Earth

Climate and the Collapse of Western Civilization — Science historians Naomi Oreskes of Harvard and Erik Conway of CalTech have taken current climate science and extrapolated it into an apocalyptic new science fiction book, The Collapse of Western Civilization—A View From the Future. Oreskes discusses how democracy, the free market, and science are all failing to protect our future.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   16:28

GP comment:  This dance doesn't include much climate apocalypso, but Oreskes ably lays out the inside-the-envelope view on climate status and action. In reality, any progress made on transitioning out of fossil fuels will come too slowly to make a difference in our future climate. But it will make a difference in many other environmental areas, so it's still worth doing.

Original Show Pub Date: 16.Jan.2015

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE, ENVIRONMENT (CLIMATE) — 18.NOV.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen Making Contact

This Changes Everything (Or Not) — Naomi Klein argues that while it's too late to stop climate change, we can still take action to save our civilization. But itís going to take radical steps that will transform the way humans interact with the world. Klein offers her vision of how we can foster a global movement to counter climate change.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   30:00

GP comment:  This is worth listening to because Klein does correctly identify several culprits in the current ecocidal ruling system—the financier class, excessive military spending, corporate hegemony, and the fossil-fuel-friendly political system—as barriers to doing anything real about climate change. But she's got it backwards: The climate crisis is not the threat that will unite people against those elite forces. Instead, uniting the masses to take back power from the elites and reestablish a fair economic system should be the stated political goal. That is Job 1, and trying to superimpose a divisive issue like climate on top of it is brainless.

Original Show Pub Date: 29.Oct.2014

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