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From Waitress
Dr. Pomatter: "I want to talk to you, somewhere outside of here. Maybe we can have a coffee or something?"
Jenna: "I can't have coffee, it's on the bad food list you gave to me. What kind of doctor are you?"
From 3rd Rock from the Sun
Dr. Mary Albright: "He's an idiot."
Waitress: "Honey, they're all idiots. But that one's looking at you like you're the only girl on Earth. And although you're real pretty, you're not exactly the last ham sandwich in Hungry Town, if you get my drift."
From Roseanne
Roseanne [to Becky, who walks in wearing her skimpy waitress outfit]: "So, did you make many tips tonight? Or won't you know 'til you shake out your underpants?"
From Cheers
Diane: "Sam, if I am to serve both as a waitress and a butt of jokes, I think I should make more money."
Carla: "Yeah, what does a good butt make in this town?"
From Homicide: Life on the Street
Potential Waitress: "I'm not really a waitress. I write. One-acts."
Det. Munch: "Huh, one-act plays."
Potential Waitress: "Read them and we'll talk about them, okay?"
Det. Lewis: "You're a writer and you had to ask me for a pen?"
Potential Waitress: "My life is total irony."
From Just Shoot Me!
Elliot: "So you guys claim to have the world's best blueberry pie. I'll be the judge of that."
Waitress: "Oh, no, it's the great pie judge. What if you don't like it? I'll have to return to my village in shame."
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You tell the waitress you want the fish special, and she insists that you have a side order of mercury. What?? That's crazy! Yes, but you might want to check out our article on
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