Skip to main content  
  Helping the environment one joke at a time, Grinning Planet. Click to go to home page. flying letter; click to go to signup page for free email version
Get GP free
via email !
 
   
       
 

FUNNY RESTAURANT QUOTES

Dine on these funny quotes around restaurants -- said in good taste only!

    PAGE INDEX
 
  Bookmark and Share
 

Funny Restaurant Quotes ...
GENERAL

"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

George Carlin

"The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums."

Peter De Vries

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

"Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can't believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I'm still hungry."

Mike Kalin

"McDonalds in Tokyo is a terrible revenge for Pearl Harbor."

S.I. Hayakawa

"Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that when I ask for a watercress sandwich I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it."

Oscar Wilde


ADVERTISEMENT

 

Funny Restaurant Quotes ...
CAFE BEYOND

"A cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter."

Morey Amsterdam

"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time.' So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."

Steven Wright

"Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, 'I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.' The waitress replies, 'I'm sorry, monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?' "

Unknown

 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

 

Food and Energy article link; thumb of baskets of food in an Indian market Unless you travel to the local restaurant or grocery store only via astral planes, you're using fossil-fuel energy to get there. But transportation is not the only energy requirement related to food—our modern food system is actually quite energy-intense. And therein lies a problem. Find out more in our article, Food & Energy.



FREE AUDIO CLIPS

free audio news clips link; image of zombie kid - DON'T BE A MAINSTREAM MEDIA DRONE! - Free MP3 news download at Grinning Planet

 

Funny Restaurant Quotes
COMM. CENTER & RELATED STUFF

SIMILAR CATEGORIES

Funny Waiter Quotes

Funny Waitress Quotes

Funny Lunch Quotes

Funny Dating Quotes

Funny Environmental Quotes

Funny Quote subject list

Jokes/Cartoons (General)

PASS ’EM ON!

Do you know someone who would like these funny quotes about restaurants? Please  forward to them.

Bookmark and Share

SEND ME A
FUNNY RESTAURANT QUOTE

If you know of a funny quote about restaurants that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
FOOD, DIET & NUTRITION

CATEGORY:  FOOD, ANIMAL WELFARE — 11.FEB.2015

Rating: 2 of 5 - OK; if you've got the time... Diet Science

Pastured vs. Free-Range vs. Cage-Free vs. Organic Eggs—What's The Difference? — Dee McCaffrey says the problems with conventional eggs range from low-quality feed to inhumane growing conditions. Organic eggs use better feed and have better growing conditions, but access to outdoors is sometimes more theory than practice in large organic operations. She rightly promotes eggs from backyard chickens as the best choice, with eggs from pastured chickens another good way to go.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   10:53

GP comment:  All that is correct. But McCaffrey also asserts that most people who are use pastured hens to raise eggs are also using organic or non-GMO feed. I suspect not even a majority of them do. I agree that pastured eggs are a top priority, but shoppers should also look for the organic or GMO-free labels. "Trust but verify." She also conflates GMO-free with soy-free, which are not at all the same thing. And "cage-free" usually means "in a crowded barn," and there is no rule that cage-free chickens must have access to outdoors. See the Humane Society's How to Read Egg Carton Labels for more info on terms related to eggs. Bawk!

Original Show Pub Date: 19.Jan.2015

CATEGORY:  FOOD, ORGANICS — 30.JAN.2015

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! One Radio Network

Keeping Food Clean—Overseeing the Organic Food Industry — Mark Kastel of The Cornucopia Institute talks about agribusiness' constant attempts to weaken the USDA organic standard—and what we can do about it. Topics include ... big companies trying to do organic on-the-cheap; Eden Foods and other food companies using excellent business ethics; the scorecard on the Cornucopia website that lets you research your favorite organic companies; carageenan, yes or no; why Chipotle took pork off the menu in 1/3 of its restaurants; why monocropping hurts soil; long term effects of GMO foods on human health; how buying organic protects you from the worst issues in the food industry.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   59:36

GP comment:  The Cornucopia Institute and the Organic Consumers Association—not to be confused with its evil name-twin the Organic Trade Association—are among the few things that keep the agribusiness juggernaut from crushing the value of the USDA organic standard (which is already a lower standard than it should be!).

Original Show Pub Date: 20.Jan.2015

CATEGORY:  FOOD, GMOs — 28.JAN.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Corbett Report

Food—Can DIY Conquer "OMG!"? — The problems of the industrial food system are obvious: food safety scandals, the death of family farming, food supply insecurity, the revolving door between corporate lobbyists and government regulators, and many more. The solution should be equally obvious: rolling up our sleeves and getting in the garden. James Corbett reviews some of the evidence against the industrial food model and then explores growing your own as a simple, natural solution to one of our most fundamental problems.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   55:38

GP comment:  This is a good primer for those who are relatively new to these issues. If you've been grappling with the issue of industrial food for a while, you probably won't hear much new here. See GP's page for gardening and agriculture audio for additional shows on those topics.

Original Show Pub Date: 14.Jan.2015 ~~ Original story title: Episode 299 -- Solutions: Guerrilla Gardening

MORE

Get more audio clips on food, diet, and nutrition (and many other subjects) in Grinning Planet's biweekly downloadable audio news feed.

 

 

Search Amazon.com ...

     
 

AMAZON PURCHASES FROM HERE HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE. THANKS!

    

BACK TO TOP

 

Hey, we don't pick
the Google ads!   – GP

 
CLICKS ON OUR ADS AND PURCHASES VIA OUR AMAZON LINKS HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE... THANKS!
   

GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Restaurant

 
Restaurant Jokes/Cartoon link; thumb of man at dining table SIGNS YOU'RE AT A BAD RESTAURANT
Restaurant Jokes/Cartoon
 
mob restaurant cartoon link; thumb of mobster HOW TO TELL WHETHER THE RESTAURANT YOU'RE AT IS RUN BY THE MOB
Mob Restaurant Cartoon
 
Spicy Food Joke link; thumb of food and hot sauce SIGNS THE RESTAURANT YOU’RE IN SERVES REALLY SPICY FOOD
Spicy Food Joke
 
Dinner With Kids Joke link; thumb of child in high chair with bowl of food on head RECOMMENDATIONS FOR DINING OUT WITH YOUNG CHILDREN
Dinner With Kids Joke

FUNNY VIDEO RELATED TO
Funny Restaurant Quotes

waiter talking to female customer in restaurant; click to go to video page at external site; opens in new window

RESTAURANT NUDISTA

Imagine, you've just been seated in a restaurant. You go to the back for a brief phone call and when you come back out, suddenly all the patrons are nude. Bad dream, bad restaurant—or a practical joke? Funny stuff from RealiTV via YouTube. Go there

Related GP cartoons:
-- Bad Names for Seafood
    Restaurants

-- Most Popular Items Served in
    Sports Restaurants

-- Signs You're at a Bad
    Restaurant

Or see more ...
Funny Animations/Videos

       
   >              
   > document gif Sign up to get Grinning Planet free by email, or get more info about it Email a link to this page to someone  
   > Copyright 2014 © Mark Jeantheau — All rights reserved.   More info  
   
   
 
 
NEWS, ARTICLES, INFO

MP3 News Download
Video/Audio News Sites
Environmental News Sites
Investigative Journalism Sites

Environment/Energy/Economy
    - Articles/Resources By Topic
    - Articles By Date

Environmental Quotes
    - Funny Environmental Quotes
    - Peak Oil Quotes

Environmental Cartoons/Jokes
    - Environmental Videos/Animations

Environmental Products
Eco/Nature Greeting Cards

Grinning Planet Farm

FUNNY STUFF

Funny Jokes/Cartoons
    - Environmental Cartoons

Funny Animations/Videos
    - Environmental Animations/Videos

Funny Quotes
    - Environmental Funny Quotes

BOOKS

Environmental Books
Global Warming Books
Energy Books
Solar Energy Books
Peak Oil Books
Food-Gardening Books
Media Books

 
MUSIC & MOVIES

Environmental Movies
Environmental Songs
Environmental Music Videos

Album Reviews
Fun With Lyrics

ADMIN

Home Page
Search
Site Map
About Us
FAQs
Contact
Free Subscriptions
Unsubscribe
Privacy Policy