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FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT CHEMICALS

Welcome to our little toxic waste dump of funny quotes about chemicals.

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Funny Chemicals Quotes ...
GENERAL

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."

Dave Barry

"Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some kind of bonus?"

Neil Gaiman

"I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste."

David Bissonette

"'Growth' and 'progress' are among the key words in our national vocabulary. But modern man now carries Strontium 90 in his bones ... DDT in his fat, asbestos in his lungs. A little more of this 'progress' and 'growth,' and this man will be dead."

Morris K. "Mo" Udall

album cover for Armed Forces; click to read album review on Grinning Planet "You've got a chemistry class;
I want a piece of your mind;
You don't know what you started
When you mixed it up with mine...

Elvis Costello, "Chemistry Class" from the album Armed Forces

"Chemicals, n: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made."

Unknown

"It is the safest of times, it is the riskiest of times.... What the Dickens is going on here?"

Denton Morrison ... on chemicals, technology, and risk


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Funny Chemicals Quotes ...
FROM MOVIES AND TV

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Titles link to DVD pages for each movie/show...

bart simpson From The Simpsons

Bart Simpson: "I think it's ironic that for once dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas."

From M*A*S*H

Hawkeye Pierce: "Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely."

From House M.D.

House: "Infectious or environmental? ... All we have to do is check out parasites, viruses, bacteria, fungi, prions, radiation, toxins, chemicals... Or it's Internet porn related. I'll check the Internet; you guys get the rest of the stuff."

From Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

John Munch [upon seeing a map of New Jersey's chemical sites]: "'Garden State' my ass. I guess 'chemical capitol of the world' didn't have the same zing."

Malcolm From Malcolm in the Middle

Malcolm: "In the wrong hands, these chemicals could make a really powerful stink bomb. My hands look wrong enough."

From Just Shoot Me!

Red Finch: "Copy rooms. Little dark spaces jammed with paper and chemicals and electricity. Why don't they just write 'Kaboom' on the door?"

From The Critic

Duke Phillips: "I'm going to tell you what I'm really going to do as president. I'll run this country like I run my company. I'm going raid the pension fund, dump chemicals in the oceans, and sell our best assets to the Japanese."

From Brainiac: Science Abuse

Richard Hammond: "This is Brainiac, the science show where we lob chemicals around—and then run like hell."

From George Carlin: Complaints and Grievances

[2001 documentary]

George Carlin: "[In] Afghanistan, I think you have to use the most powerful weapon you have. In this case, chemical warfare of a type never used before. And I'm talking about the Flatulent Airborne Reaction Team. You fill them up with cheese, cabbage, and beer, and you drop them into Afghanistan, where they commence chemical warfare of the highest order. You send three-man FART squads into every cave and tunnel in Afghanistan."

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Green Cleaning vs. Chemicals In Household Products article link; thumb of cleaning bottles THE SWEET, NON-TOXIC SMELL OF SUCCESS
What toxic chemicals lurk in those innocent-looking jugs and spray bottles you use to clean house? Find out how to make the move to green cleaning in Grinning Planet's feature article.





Funny Chemicals Quotes
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FUNNY CHEMICALS QUOTE

If you know of a funny chemicals quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Funny Chemicals Quotes . . .
AUDIO CLIPS
ON CHEMICALS & PESTICIDES

CATEGORY:  ENVIRONMENT (TOXICS, CLIMATE) — 23.SEP.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good TUC Radio

Poisoning the Sky—A Community Investigates Chemtrails and Fights Back — Residents of Shasta County, California have documented that the lingering white trails in the sky above—chemtrails—are correlated with an increase in toxic contaminants in rain, snow, and surface water, including aluminum, barium and strontium. In this clip, we hear experts and citizens present their evidence before the Shasta County Supervisors as a matter of public health and an issue of citizens' right to know. They point out that the chemicals in the contaminated water are also found in patents for weather modification chemicals used by the military and private contractors.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   30:00

GP comment:  This is not concerned citizens making unsupported allegations. There is science here, presented by credentialed witnesses.

Original Show Pub Date: 10.Sep.2014

CATEGORY:  ENVIRONMENT (PESTICIDES), HEALTH — 06.SEP.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Making Contact

Pesticides—Homes, Farms, and Kids — The pesticide chlorpyrifos was deemed toxic enough that it has been banned for household use. But the pesticide is still allowed for farm use, so what about the continued effects on the health of farmworkers and their children? What about pesticide drift into unintended areas? What about other pesticides—are we protecting children in general from their development-disruption effects?
Go to page  |  Download/listen   28:58

GP comment:  Most insecticides act through some sort of nerve disruption but also may act as endocrine disruptors. Why aren't parents more concerned about what they spray around their houses and lawns, or what others spray on nearby farms or road berms?

Original Show Pub Date: 27.Aug.2014

CATEGORY:  AGRICULTURE, CHEMICALS — 01.SEP.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen One Radio Network

Together, We Can Protect Our Food, Our Farms, and Our Environment — Colin O'Neil and Larissa Walker of the Center for Food Safety talk about a variety of food and farm issues. Topics include the new 2,4-D-resistant GMO crops; toxic pesticides associated with cancers and birth defects; importance of honey bees to large-scale agriculture; effects of chemicals on honey bees, native bees, and other critical beneficial insects; neonicotinoid pesticides as a particular problem for bees.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   52:13

GP comment:  Nice to hear the "buzz about bees" give native insects equal weight for a change.

Original Show Pub Date: 18.Aug.2014

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Get more audio clips on chemicals (and many other subjects) in Grinning Planet's biweekly downloadable audio news feed.

 

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GOOD VIDEO RELATED TO
Funny Chemical Quotes

chemicals in cosmetics video link; split graphic of man and woman at bathroom sink using personal care products

THE STORY OF COSMETICS

Another excellent piece from Annie Leonard's "story of" series, this time taking on personal care products. Unless you check your labels carefully—and avoid products with ingredients you can't recognize or even pronounce—the shampoo, makeup, and other products on your shelves are almost sure to contain a variety of toxics.  Watch chemicals in cosmetics video.

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