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CORPORATIONS - FUNNY QUOTES

There were thousands of applicants for the limited positions on this funny corporate quotes page. We picked the best!

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Funny Corporation Quotes ...
GENERAL

"I don't think meals have any business being deductible. I'm for separation of calories and corporations."

Ralph Nader

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it, and that's true anywhere in the world."

Andrew Young

"The corporations don't have to lobby the government anymore. They are the government."

Jim Hightower

"The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door."

Ralph Nader

"Sharks have been swimming the oceans unchallenged for thousands of years; chances are, the species that roams corporate waters will prove just as hardy."

Eric Gelman

"The trouble in corporate America is that too many people with too much power live in a box (their home), then travel the same road every day to another box (their office)."

Faith Popcorn


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Funny Corporate Quotes ...
THEY PUT THE 'RAT' IN CORPORATE

corporation, n.
An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

criminal, n.
A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.

Howard Scott

"Punk is not dead. Punk will only die when corporations can exploit and mass produce it."

Jello Biafra

"[Commercial radio] is owned by one or two corporations now, and they're not in the music business. They're in the advertising business.... So let's not kid ourselves. If you want to hear music, go buy a guitar."

Elvis Costello

"Corporations cannot commit treason, nor be outlawed, nor excommunicated, for they have no souls."

Edward Coke

"Wal-Mart is the sewer pipe through which good jobs are being flushed."

Andrew Stern

"Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone."

John Maynard Keynes

"A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good, and a real one."

J.P. Morgan


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Funny Corporation Quotes ...
FROM MOVIES AND TV

lisa simpson From The Simpsons

Lisa Simpson: "Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece."

From Fight Club (1999)

Narrator: "When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything: the IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks."

the tick From The Tick

Tick [leading-in to commercial break]: "Brace yourself while Corporate America tries to sell us its wretched things."

From The Daily Show

Jon Stewart: "April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations—taxes are for douche bags."

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Funny Corporation Quotes
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FUNNY CORPORATIONS QUOTE

If you know of a funny corporations quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Funny Corporation Quotes . . .
AUDIO CLIPS
ABOUT CORPORATE POWER

CATEGORY:  GMOs, CORPORATIONS — 20.MAR.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good TUC Radio

The Safe Food Movement vs. the Agrochemical Giants — Campaigns attempting to label genetically engineered food have swept the US, from California to Washington and on to Connecticut, Maine, Alaska, Oregon and Vermont. But the right to know about the food we put into our bodies is always challenged by a powerful and extremely well funded lobby that represents the interests of biotech/chemical corporations such as Monsanto, Dow, DuPont, Syngenta, Bayer, and BASF, as well as junk-food manufacturers such as Kraft Foods, Pepsico, and Coca Cola. Vandana Shiva and Andy Kimbrell update us on the evidence against genetically modified foods and the war with the corporations that profit from them.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   29:00
Go to page  |  Download/listen   29:00

GP comment:  This is very good overall, though I do find it rather amusing that environmentalists worry about "super-weeds," which by definition are only a problem for industrial agriculture. True, their rise does cause use of more toxic pesticides, but super-weeds are really a small sidebar compared to other GMO issues.

Original Show Pub Date: 05.Mar.2014

CATEGORY:  CORPORATIONS, VEHICLES — 13.MAR.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen Democracy Now

Nader:  Regulators Complicit in GM Cover-Up of Safety Defect Tied to 13 Deaths — After hundreds of complaints and 13 deaths, the Justice Department has launched a criminal investigation into how General Motors may have covered up deadly safety defects in its compact cars. Six GM models made from 2003 to 2007 could at times suddenly turn off while being driven. For 11 years, GM reportedly treated the defect as a matter of customer satisfaction, not safety. Consumer advocate Ralph Nader says federal regulators also failed to take action, declining to investigate despite a flood of complaints.
Watch  |  Download/listen   11:17

GP comment:  These days, bad corporate behavior often goes hand-in-hand with bad government behavior.

Original Show Pub Date: 12.Mar.2014

CATEGORY:  CORPORATIONS, CHEMICALS — 25.FEB.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! Democracy Now

Silencing the Scientist—Tyrone Hayes on Being Targeted by Herbicide Firm SyngentaTyrone Hayes Scientist Tyrone Hayes discovered that a widely used herbicide called Atrazine may have harmful effects on the endocrine system. But when he tried to publish the results, the chemical's manufacturer launched a campaign to discredit his work and threaten him with physical harm. Newly available court documents from a class action lawsuit against Syngenta show how it sought to smear Hayes' reputation and prevent the US EPA from banning the profitable chemical, which has already been banned by the European Union.
Watch  |  Download/listen   17:41

GP comment:  There are several must-hear moments in this clip. I particularly love that Hayes found out Syngenta had access to his email and then crafted emails that mislead them and kept them off his trail. Bravo!

Original Show Pub Date: 21.Feb.2014

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GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
CORPORATIONS

 
Corporate Cartoon link; thumb of blindfolded man HOW CORPORATE LEADERS MAKE TOUGH DECISIONS
Corporate Cartoon
 
Business Office Cartoon link; thumb of business man with sales chart GOOD AND BAD SIGNS IN BUSINESS
Business Office Cartoon
 
Management Cartoon link; thumb of man that looks like a dog MANAGEMENT INNOVATIONS AT TOP DOG FOOD COMPANIES
Management Innovation Cartoon

FUNNY VIDEOS RELATED TO
Funny Corporate Quotes

funny corporate personhood video link; thumb of congressman controlled by corporations sitting atop US Capitol sticking a large pin in reform measures as a crowd looks on

THE STORY OF CORPORATIONS

Another brilliant episode in The Story of Stuff series. Using clever graphics, Annie Leonard explains how corporations acquired their current extraordinary powers and rights, and why me must make correcting this our #1 priority if we want to eventually address the other ills of society.  Watch funny corporate personhood video.

funny corporate personhood video link; thumb of animated corporate headquarters buildings

CORPORATELAND AND THE CASHOCRACY

In one funny video, Mark Fiore anima-shuns the dominant role of money in the American system of governance. In another, he offers an animated musical tribute to the dreams of corporations, all coming true as they transform into real live humans...  Watch funny corporate personhood video.

Or see more ...
Funny Animations/Videos

Or see more ...
Progressive Videos/Animations

       
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