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CORPORATIONS - FUNNY QUOTES
There were thousands of applicants for the limited positions on this funny corporate quotes page. We picked the best!
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"I don't think meals have any business being deductible. I'm for separation of calories and corporations."
— Ralph Nader
"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it, and that's true anywhere in the world."
— Andrew Young
"The corporations don't have to lobby the government anymore. They are the government."
— Jim Hightower
"The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door."
— Ralph Nader
"Sharks have been swimming the oceans unchallenged for thousands of years; chances are, the species that roams corporate waters will prove just as hardy."
— Eric Gelman
"The trouble in corporate America is that too many people with too much power live in a box (their home), then travel the same road every day to another box (their office)."
— Faith Popcorn
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corporation, n.
An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
criminal, n.
A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
— Howard Scott
"Punk is not dead. Punk will only die when corporations can exploit and mass produce it."
— Jello Biafra
"[Commercial radio] is owned by one or two corporations now, and they're not in the music business. They're in the advertising business.... So let's not kid ourselves. If you want to hear music, go buy a guitar."
— Elvis Costello
"Corporations cannot commit treason, nor be outlawed, nor excommunicated, for they have no souls."
— Edward Coke
"Wal-Mart is the sewer pipe through which good jobs are being flushed."
— Andrew Stern
"Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone."
— John Maynard Keynes
"A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good, and a real one."
— J.P. Morgan
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FREE AUDIO CLIPS
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From The Simpsons
Lisa Simpson: "Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece."
From Fight Club (1999)
Narrator: "When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything: the IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks."
From The Tick
Tick [leading-in to commercial break]: "Brace yourself while Corporate America tries to sell us its wretched things."
From The Daily Show
Jon Stewart: "April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations—taxes are for douche bags."
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CATEGORY: AGRICULTURE, LABOR ISSUES — 30.DEC.2014
Agroinnovations Podcast
The Farmers Union and the Future of Food —
Tom Giessel, honorary historian of the National Farmers Union, talks about the history of the Farmers Union, which was started in the early 20th century by cotton farmers in Texas. Giessel discusses the importance of community organizing and collaboration; the impact of technology on the Farmers Union; and visionary leaders throughout the Union's history. ~~ In Part II, Giessel explains the advantages of small operations unifying under a cooperative structure. He advises listeners to beware of threats to uniform cooperative law, and the further danger of wholesale privatization of cooperative assets. The discussion concludes with a look at the role of commodity groups in the political landscape and the dwindling role of cooperative extension in the face of persistent budget cuts.
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Download/listen A
38:15
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Download/listen B
36:59
Original Show Pub Date: 18.Nov.2014 ~~ Original story titles: History of the Farmer’s Union, The Future of Food and Farming
CATEGORY: ENVIRONMENT, CORPORATIONS — 10.DEC.2014
CounterSpin
30 Years Since Bhopal, Justice May Finally Be Getting Started —
It was 30 years ago that a gas leak at the Union Carbide pesticide plant in Bhopal, India, killed thousands of people and injured tens of thousands more. But if you think of Bhopal as a tragedy from the '80s, you're missing the point: It was a crime and it's far from over. Amitabh Pal of the Progressive talks about the ongoing disaster of Bhopal and the potential progress finally being made to clean up the area and properly compensate victims.
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10:14
Original Show Pub Date: 05.Dec.2014
CATEGORY: EMPIRE, CORPORATIONS, LABOR ISSUES — 27.OCT.2014
Making Contact
Blowing the Whistle, Paying the Price —
Whistleblowers are heroes to many, but the government is increasingly treating them as traitors. In this show, we hear about the whistleblowers you won't see on the nightly news. They’re not named Manning or Snowden; they’re ordinary people who report wrongdoing at their place of employment, and pay the consequences.
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28:56
Original Show Pub Date: 15.Oct.2014
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Another brilliant episode in The Story of Stuff series. Using clever graphics, Annie Leonard explains how corporations acquired their current extraordinary powers and rights, and why me must make correcting this our #1 priority if we want to eventually address the other ills of society. Watch funny corporate personhood video.
In one funny video, Mark Fiore anima-shuns the dominant role of money in the American system of governance. In another, he offers an animated musical tribute to the dreams of corporations, all coming true as they transform into real live humans... Watch funny corporate personhood video.
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