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REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.
— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
"Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?"
— George Wallace
"We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'"
— Elayne Boosler
"I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service."
— Joseph Heller, author of Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."
— Groucho Marx
Army food: the spoils of war
— Unknown
"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship."
— Dick Gregory
"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations."
— David Friedman
"The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his."
— General George S. Patton
"It will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need, and our air force has to have a bake-sale to buy a bomber."
— Robert Fulghum
"I am not fond of speaking about politics because I don't have in my possession an army of 200,000 soldiers."
— Frank Liszt
"My fellow Americans. I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
— President Reagan, before a scheduled radio broadcast, unaware that the microphone was already on
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
— Napoleon Bonaparte
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."
— Ambrose Bierce
"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait."
— A. Whitney Brown, during First Gulf War
VALOR, n. A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler's hope.
"Why have you halted?" roared the commander of a division and Chickamauga, who had ordered a charge. "Move forward, sir, at once."
"General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy."/p>
— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
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Whether the subject is military matters or civilian subjects, disinformation is something we citizens need to outflank. That means demoting the hopelessly uninformative, under-done and over-spun mainstream media. Grinning Planet's weekly
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