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FUNNY DATING QUOTES, FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT DATING, FUNNY DATE QUOTATIONS

FUNNY DATING QUOTES

 
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Funny Dating Quotes . . .
GENERAL DATING

 
 

"I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it."

— Gary Shandling

 
   
 
 

"Envy is what makes you, when an acquaintance is lustily telling you that she's dating a Greek god of a guy, ask, 'Which one, Hades?' "

— Regina Barreca

 
   
 
 

"A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows."

— Monica Piper

 
   
 
 

"When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, 'I want my daughter back by 8:15.' I said, 'The middle of August? Cool!' "

— Steven Wright

 
   
 
 

"I date this girl for two years—and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name...' "

— Mike Binder

 
   
 
 

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

— Mike Binder

 
 

Funny Quotes About Dating . . .
DATING ADVICE

 
 

"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."

— Rita Mae Brown

 
   
 
 

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."

— Jerry Seinfeld

 
   
 
 

"Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible."

— Andy Warhol

 
   
 
 

"My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away."

— Jenny McCarthy

 
   
 
 

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

— Woody Allen

 

 

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If you know of a funny quote about dating that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
ABOUT HEALTH

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 28.JAN.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Life Matters

Anit-Inflammatory Properties of Glycine — Because most of us don't cook bones and cartilage into soup as previous generations did, we're missing essential nutrients, glycine among them. Dr. Joel Brind talks explains why the amino acid glycine is essential to regulating your body's inflammation. He recommends glycine supplementation, and talks about a study that suggests this can also be helpful for those facing type II diabetes.
Watch  |  Download/listen   23:33

GP comment:  Pretty interesting. I've had some success with one specific form of magnesium that include glycine. Now I know why.

Original Show Pub Date: 14.Apr.2014

CATEGORY:  FOOD, HEALTH — 24.JAN.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Susun Weed

Coffee—A Surprisingly Healthy Brew — Herbalist and alternative health guru Susun Weed talks about the many benefits of coffee. There are a few potential downsides, she says, but for most people, the data overwhelmingly show that coffee and caffeine help reduce risk in just about every major disease category.
Go to page A  |  Download/listen A   31:41
Go to page B  |  Download/listen B   33:58

GP comment:  I was actually surprised there weren't more cautions against coffee consumption here. But I love coffee, so YEAY! I do have to wonder, though, how much of the protective effect is merely counterbalancing other bad habits. Nonetheless, since we are indeed creatures of (bad) habit, carry on with the slurping! Weed does add that while the coffee itself is good, the other things some of us put in it are ... not so much.

Original Show Pub Date: Aug.2013

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 21.JAN.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good One Radio Network

The Skinny Gut Diet — When it comes to digestive disorders, Brenda Watson has dedicated her career to helping people achieve lasting health through improved digestive function. Topics here include ... doing alimentary detective work; true fermented vegetables vs. canned; solutions for constipation; how gut bacteria can drive weight issues; the importance of gut microbe variety; probiotic recommendations and the "with food" vs. "away from food" question.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   1:01:58

GP comment:  She's good, but for me, too much time was spent on "fat bacteria." I'm an ectomoprh!

Original Show Pub Date: 13.Jan.2015

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Chat Room Joke
       
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