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FUNNY CAMPAIGN QUOTES
Campaigning, we are, for a majority of laughs ... with these funny campaign quotes!
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"Anyone that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office."
— David Broder
"When it comes to facing up to serious problems, each candidate will pledge to appoint a committee. And what is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. But it all sounds great in a campaign speech."
— Richard Long Harkness
"People used to complain that selling a president was like selling a bar of soap. But when you buy soap, at least you get the soap. In this campaign, you just get two guys telling you they really value cleanliness."
— David Brooks
"Sometimes, political campaigns make decent people act and talk like perfect buffoons."
— Tony Snow
"The problem with smear campaigns is that too often they work."
— Mark Shields
"When the president during the campaign said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation."
— Al Franken
"I'm not an old, experienced hand at politics. But I am now seasoned enough to have learned that the hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning."
— Adlai Stevenson
"Do not run a campaign that would embarrass your mother."
— Robert C. Byrd
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"The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil."
— C.S. Lewis
"A great ad campaign will make a bad product fail faster. It will get more people to know it's bad."
— William Bernbach
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FREE AUDIO CLIPS
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"You look at that Democratic debate, I had to laugh at what I saw Barack Obama do. I mean in one week he went from saying he's going to sit down, you know, for tea, with our enemies, but then he's going to bomb our allies. I mean he's gone from Jane Fonda to Dr. Strangelove in one week."
— Mitt Romney, presidential candidate
"I'm from Hope, Arkansas, you may have heard of it. All I'm asking is, give us one more chance."
— Mike Huckabee, presidential candidate
"There's only three things [presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani] mentions in a sentence—a noun and a verb and '9/11'...."
— Joe Biden (also running for president at the time)
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"To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don't be economic girlie men!"
— Arnold Schwarzenegger, California Gubernator
"People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal, and his great hair. I say to them: How do you think I got the job?"
— Dick Cheney
"I spent several years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, in the dark, fed with scraps. Do you think I want to do that all over again as vice president of the United States?"
— Sen. John McCain, addressing the rumor that he might agree to be John Kerry's running mate
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"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."
— George W. Bush
"Republicans are calling the Bush-Cheney ticket the 'Wizard of Oz' ticket. One needs a heart and the other needs a brain."
— Jay Leno
"My plan to put Social Security in an ironclad lockbox has gotten a lot of attention recently, and I'm glad about that. But I'm afraid that it's overshadowing some vitally important proposals. For instance, I'll put Medicaid in a walk-in closet. I'll put the Community Reinvestment Act in a secured gym locker. I'll put NASA funding in a hermetically sealed Ziploc bag."
— Al Gore
"Bush and Gore make me wanna RALPH."
— Nader campaign T-shirt
"They misunderestimated me."
— George W. Bush
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One of our non-funny campaign planks is that we should do something about the planet's fouled waterways, be they ocean-sized or just a little stream in your neighborhood. Check out our
water pollution solutions article ...
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CATEGORY: HISTORY, FINANCIAL — 14.FEB.2015
Peak Prosperity
Either We Break the Bankster Alliances or They Will Break Us —
Nomi Prins reviews the historical circumstances that led to the formation of the big-bank-controlled Federal Reserve; that is, how the financial foxes were put in charge of the public's hen house. She then explains how many rich US elites in the late 1800s/early 1900s thought that keeping money flowing and not being too draconian helped the masses, which in turn helped the elites maintain the system that provided the wealth. But some bankers were not of a mind to play the game this way, and Louis Brandeis warned: "We must break the Money Trust or the Money Trust will break us." Nomi Prins says we are headed into a new era of high banker mischief, vast income gaps, and reckless behavior among leaders and elites. She says we must take heed of Brandeis' warning and take down the banker-corporate-politician-industrial complex.
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52:45
Original Show Pub Date: 31.Jan.2015
CATEGORY: MEDIA, EMPIRE — 13.FEB.2015
Democracy Now
Endless War, Endless War Spin —
As Obama talks about a new major cycle of the war on terror—this time against the Islamic State—Norman Solomon of the Institute for Public Accuracy says Obama talks about not being interested in "endless war" but is doing more than any previous president to engage the US in exactly that. Solomon also says Brain Williams' worst lies about war were not his exaggerations of his personal experiences reporting from danger zones but rather his parroting the war propaganda of both the Bush and Obama administrations and his failure to challenge any aspect of the corrupt endless-war agenda. Of course, all the big names in media did the same. Finally, Solomon talks about the case of CIA whistleblower Jeffrey Sterling, who has been persecuted for exposing a dodgy CIA operation to the Senate Intelligence Committee.
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17:18
Original Show Pub Date: 12.Feb.2015 ~~ Original story titles ... Endless War? Obama Sends Congress Expansive Anti-ISIS Measure 6 Months After Bombing Began ~~ Brian Williams Suspended for False Iraq Tale, But Media's Real Scandal is the War Lies Spun Daily ~~ Was Jeffrey Sterling Trial a Gov't Effort to Divide Investigative Journalists & Whistleblowers?
CATEGORY: EMPIRE — 11.FEB.2015
Uprising
Understanding the Roots of Terrorism—Theirs and Ours —
Much of President Obama's record-breaking defense budget proposal will fund proxy wars around the globe. The US is training and arming Sunni tribal groups in Iraq to fight ISIS, and it may soon begin supplying weapons to the Ukrainian military against Russia. Drone strikes continue to take their toll in Yemen and elsewhere. Meanwhile, a jingoistic film called ‘American Sniper’ glorifies killing and demonizes Muslims with virtually no historical context. Chris Hedges says most Americans accept the myth of American rightness and do-goodism while ignoring the obvious parallels in the terrorism practiced by the US and the terrorism practiced by ISIS and their ilk. He says the empire is not only busy abroad but is also quietly pre-positioning suppressive-force capabilities on the home front, in preparation for the inevitable pushback from the masses as their impoverishment worsens.
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27:32
Original Show Pub Date: 09.Feb.2015
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Get more audio clips on the political minions of empire, financial collapse, and elites (and many other subjects) in Grinning Planet's biweekly
downloadable audio news feed.
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View on Amazon.com:
Al Franken
(books and DVDs)
A funny, ultra-satirical video spoofing a campaign contest between two very polarized opponents. From Jokey Bits via YouTube...
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